Written by Bernie Tovio, CLM Community Sport
My journey to Retreat Six: Building Kāinga / Aiga which focused on the theme of belonging was a bitter-sweet ferry trip from Half Moon Bay to Waiheke. I was going to reconnect with my fellow Mana Moana brothers and sisters, but also, this was our final retreat together.
The day started as it always did before heading into a retreat; I was working right up to the last minute, sending emails, making phone calls, making sure the family were ok, and in this case, finishing off an online Zoom meeting 10 minutes into the ferry trip. It was always about putting others first, making sure business was taken care of, before allowing myself the opportunity to just be still.
As I closed the lid to my laptop, I looked out onto the water quietly thankful that I was leaving behind the things that consumed my waking hours with “things” that I never seemed to have enough time to do. I took a deep breath in, and slowly breathed out, calming down the busyness of my mind, allowing the flow of oxygen to slow down the beating of my heart and allowing myself to be in the moment.
I reflected on the start of this journey, at the interview, when asked why I wanted to do the programme. I recalled saying something along the lines of it was the “opportunity to connect with culture, understand leadership from a Pasifika context, to be a better Leader, but most of all, because I wanted to do something that was unashamedly, just for me.” And here I was, embracing that opportunity.
I was anxious about this retreat knowing that I was sharing My Hala, but I was not prepared for what this retreat had in store for me. Sticking with the programme and trusting in the process - in spite of what my conditioned mind was thinking - I was taken through the Afaa/Awhā, a storm that I would never have predicted was holding me back. It was also the moment where my past, present and future collided, opening my eyes and perspective on who I was, who I am now and who I want to be moving forward. I will be taking the words of wisdom shared by our guest speaker Sina Wendt:
· “I see with my heart and do with my head”
· “There is so much transactional leadership. The challenge is how do we take our wholeness into that setting”
· “Look after self first, strip yourself of the things that are not necessary.”
As I reflect more, I have to admit, there were times I was outside of my comfort zone and challenged to step out into unfamiliar territory. The underlying issue was really about “control” and not having it. However, I had allowed myself to succumb to the process eventually. I can now testify that through this journey, I have been richly blessed by being in the presence of such high achieving, amazing, awe-inspiring and talented Pasifika Leaders from across the country. The connection we have made goes deeper than what is visible to the eye. There is no price tag that could ever be placed on this.
My life has been blessed beyond words through the Mana Moana Experience. I stand stronger as a Pasifika Female Leader knowing I am not alone. By surrendering and trusting in the process I feel more empowered to lead with purpose. With my mind, body and soul enriched, I have been inspired to reconnect with culture, let go of things I have been conditioned to control, and journey the path that my ancestors paved for me as a proud servant daughter of the Pacific.
O le ala I le pule o le tautua (Samoan proverb)
The pathway to leadership is through service