Written by Sarah-Jayne McCurrach, Toka Tū Ake EQC
As I walked toward my faithful Ako friend at the ferry terminal in Auckland, my nerves regarding this retreat were overwhelming. I felt trepidation for what was to come. I was questioning my presence. I was reassessing my ‘why’, as this was, for many reasons, going to be a big retreat for me. We sat on the top deck of the ferry to Waiheke Island and began to talk away the journey. Whether it was the wind blowing us to pieces, or our conversation, the nerves began to subside. Soon after arriving, the Waiheke environment slowed my pace and thinking. Meeting cohort friends and receiving the gift of simple gestures these selfless, supportive, wonderful humans offered—a wink, a warm cwtch—further abated my uneasy thoughts and feelings.
It was only when we began walking toward Onetangi Hall for our first cohort circle of the retreat, that a surge of negative energy ran through my veins. To look at me, you may have questioned if I was thinking about getting back on the ferry. But you would have been wrong. This feeling wasn’t something I needed to waste my energy on. We can build a narrative of a situation in our head, that leads to a physical effect on us, often generating wasted energy. I was exhausted by lunch…
What shifted my views? What made the change? Purpose. My purpose. The collective purpose. I remembered my why.
Soon came the experience of learning the power of the intentional breath, which led to processing and reflecting in a way I, and I am sure others in the cohort, have never experienced before. Time floated away, roadblocks passed through the rear-view mirror, and reflections, turning into possible actions, became front and centre. This, coupled with the opportunity to reflect on our first retreat of the year, and revisit our collective visions, our collective ‘why’, generated my ‘aha’ moment—all roads have led me here.
I felt a shift—a reawakening of sorts — remembering our opportunities, our capabilities, our potential to drive change, and, most importantly, our role in doing so. A sentiment that has stayed with me over this year came from that first retreat, as said by the inspirational Ezra Hirawani: “The power of leaning into the past to be able to strive into the future.” I subscribe to this on all expanses of time, even the journey from retreat one, to now.
If you had asked me before this retreat, “what’s your ‘why’ for being part of the New Zealand Leadership Programme?” or “have you grown from this experience over the year?” I would have given you a very different answer to what I am giving you now. This retreat dove into a part of my personal and professional self in ways I never would have thought possible. My thinking had been pushed and everything became connected, consequential, and cemented. I have a deeper sense of responsibility, and understand of how, within my capacities, I can and should use this to make a difference.
There was a sense of convergence in the room on retreat six, a collective dynamism that isn’t that easy to describe, but you feel it. Fuelled by that sense of responsibility. To not just visualise, but to lead the way and forge the path for our future leaders, and stride fervently towards ensuring we are building a brighter, sustainable, and inclusive future for our tamariki and our mokopuna.
Mae'r dyfodol nawr—The future is now.